What a hug means to you?

Lately, selalu terasa nak tulis somewhere about my son. He's growing up so fast MashaAllah. Can't believe he's 2 years old now. Semakin loving and cheeky day by day. Instagram is not my preferred medium for some personal reason and I don't like my current handwriting (dah lama sangat tak pegang pencil) hence, diary is not a good option too. So, I think blog is the best place for now (even though I deeply feel this will not stay long hahaha). But I still need to write it somewhere so I can refresh and recall my motherhood moments with him in the future. Orang sekarang pon tak baca blog dah, so this is just righttt for my personal reference.

Kids are amazing and full of surprises. So does my son, Fayyadh. 

When I thought he is too young to understand, 

he actually picks up things naturally, in his own sweet time. 

Most of the time, when Fayyadh cries, be it because he wanted to follow Ayah/ Atok to work, or he wanted something which I refused to give, or that "just cry" cry, cry-for-no-reason (I know most of you can relate this), I would offer him A HUG.

Our normal conversation be like:

Fayyadh: *Criessss out loud*

Me: Oooww, Fayyadh is crying, Fayyadh sad. Fayyadh nak ikut ayah, tapi ayah work. You want Mama to hug you? 

Fayyadh: *Nodded* Nak Mama hug...

and we hug...until he is emotionally stable. or until I successfully distract him with something else.

but there are also times when he simply rejects my offer. He would continue crying or running towards the door, ignoring me for few minutes, but I could guarantee (confident! kahkah) he will come back to me either to show me that he is still sad (expected me to pujuk or offer him a hug again) or come back to me with the sweetest face " Nak mama.." and hug me tightly (dalam hati mama, yassss *big grin* haha) 

Sometimes, I also suggest him to offer a hug to other people (bukan random people la of course). Bila weekend, cousins ada dekat rumah, biasa la every 5-10 minutes mesti ada adegan dan incident2 tangisan. 

Abang Eqal: *Criesss out loud*

Fayyadh: Abang Eqal....*awkwardly try untuk pujuk  abang* 

Me: Fayyadh, Abang Eqal is sad. You can ask Abang if he needs hug okay?

Fayyadh: Abang...Fayyadh hug okay? 

and all I could remember is..the offers never naturally come from him.  

until recently, for the first time ever, the offer came naturally from him. 

One night, when we were reading one of his favorite book before bedtime, Fayyadh surprised me by showing his lovely act of kindness. We have been reading that book for a few months now, so I didn't expect anything new. When we reached this one page, there was a sad fish with tears. Normally I didn't spend much time on that page because I liked the next page better (more fishes). So i would quickly flip the page as soon as I finished my sentence. But it was different this time.

When we reached that "sad fish" page, Fayyadh stopped me before I even began talking. 

Fayyadh: *pointing towards the fish* Mama, fish sad. Fish cry. HUG. HUG.

Me: *Slowly pickup* Ohh yaa, fish cries. what do you do when fish is sad? 

Fayyadh: Hug fish *he really pulled the book towards him, hugged and kissed the fish*

and I hold the page a little longer...

I still remember another sweet moment when Fayyadh offered me a HUG for the first time. I was on the prayer mat, just finished solat, while he was busy playing with his toys next to me. Biasanya kalau baca doa memang purposely baca kuat2 so dia dengar sekali. So time baca doa tu, biasa la ada ternangis2 sikit and he could sense it, maybe sebab tone cakap tu berubah kot kan. He immediately stopped playing and came to me. 

Fayyadh: *Wipe my tears* Mama cry? Mama sad?

Me: *Silent and look into his eyes*

Fayyadh: Fayyadh hug Mama okay? Okay? Boleh?

and we hugged...melting....

I was so touched and surprised by his act. I never expect him to understand and apply them in any situation without cue from me especially at his age. But he did anyway. And since then, I realized he becomes more aware of other's feeling and sadness, and he offers HUG more frequently now.

Normally he is a cheerful baby after school, excited sangat bila nampak Mama dekat gate. But yesterday:

Fayyadh: Mama, Fayyadh nak jalan jalan. 

Me: Fayyadh nak pergi mana?

Fayyadh: Playground.

Me: Ohh, Fayyadh nak main slides? Buai laju2 kan? Tapi sekarang hujan. Can we go next time bila Ayah ada?

Fayyadh: *slow tone* Hmm...Okay Mama.

Few seconds later...

Fayyadh: Mama, Fayyadh sad. Nak hug

Me: Ok sayang. Come mama hug... 

He now knows how to describe his sad feeling as well.. 

What a hug means to you? I personally think , a hug means the world to our child. For them, a hug means safe, secure, comfort, love and everything more than just a physical touch. Just like adult, they also have a bad and good day. They also have this indescribable feeling where they don't even know what they want, just like us (especially women haha). But most of the time, A HUG is just enough, to make them feel good again.