Ayah will be leaving us for Pakistan for one year. and the most saddest part is he will depart tomorrow, on the 9th day of Ramadhan. That means this is my mom's first raya without Ayah since married, which was like 27 years ago?I was missing for 4 years and finally it was full-house last year but not for long. Since Ayah will be celebrating raya at Pakistan and considering my older sister is now married and has other commitment, it gonna be only 4 of us. How empty raya would be this year?
I know life would be sooo different starting tomorrow and I just don't wanna think about it for now. I don't know how mama would handle this. But do we even have option? NO.
Being away from us and leave the place we called home. To the place where bombing is everywhere (God forbid) and "safe" might be a hardest thing to get. For me, It's not safe at all! But does he even have option? NO. That is what Ayah called as Responsibility.
Let go the love of her life for a year, to a strange country. Be an independent housewife and take over the responsibility of taking care of the family. I just admire how strong my mom is in handling this. But does she even have option? NO. That is what Mama called as Sacrifice.
And me? A hopeless daughter who is not helping at all especially when it comes to emotion. I complaint a lot and got really stressed when I was asked to go to Kertih for a day trip on the 4th day of Ramadhan. It's not a strange place, no bombing, not using different language, and not even for a year! Tapi merungut nyaaa.. MasyaAllah macam kene pegi Africa setahun berperang, and tinggalkan anak 5 orang yang kene bagi makan kat rumah. Haihh. and now who am I to complain? When my so called big problem is not even 10% of my parent's? I need to grow up. Like for real.
I hope I could make mama strong because all she needs is support. And May Allah bless and protect Ayah and his journey! Aminn..
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