VS 1.1

"We rise by lifting others" - Robert Ingersoll

Her innocent voice slapped me in my face. I shouldn't be angry I should know how to control my voice I should be more patient I should treat them nicely. It's good such things happen at the beginning. It gave me times to reflect.

From that moment, I am being extra careful with my words. The PM asked them to finish at least 5 pages of the Mathematics exercise then they can choose a new novel to read during school holiday. PU had moved to another volunteer because she didn't get full attention from me as I also helped KH with her math. When doing the math exercise, I can see KH is smart but looked like she was hiding something, something to do with her emotion, from me, from the world. I told ya, KH ni sangat sesuatu. But, I haven't figured it out yet. Time buat math tu, die tunduk until her face nearly touch the floor. I tried to get her attention, asked about school, about what she likes, but her voice was so low  and I couldn't hear clearly what she was saying...until I realized, she was crying. Yes, tears rolled down her cheeks.

So I asked her to pause doing the math. I didn't think finishing the math book can make her happy. I knew asking her the reason why she cried was not a good idea in that condition. She must be so sensitive and my question can make things even worse.

Then another tinggg!! idea came out. Yeay! Thanks to zaman2 sekolah yang selalu main dalam kelas. So I draw a few 3x3 grids and we played tic tac toe! Guess what, I managed to change her mood quite instantly. She was so happy playing tic tac toe. And for the first time, I actually counted the marks and planned a strategy to make her win. Kakak yang baik sangat pls. But ehem! I just let her win by 1 point ONLY. kahkahkah nak jugekkk.

Then we continued with math until she finished all 5pages. Bila saya nampak je die macam nak sedih I tried to distract her by asking random questions macam dia suke main sports apa, cikgu kat sekolah garang ke tak, and sambung tic tac toe jugak. I found her more effective to pause a few times rather than pushing her to finish the math rushingly.

Then I checked her school bag to find her exam paper, and guess whatttt?? The only exam paper she had received was Bahasa Arab. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Long pauseeeee... Silent mode. Urghhhh I read it a few times but the one thing I can captured was only the front page. I learnt arabic in primary school and takes 2 classes at Vandy. But why everything seemed so alien to me. Penyesalan. Nampak sangat belajar dulu semata2 utk pass exam je. sobs sobs. Dengan perasaan down tahap 7, terpaksa asked another volunteer to review that paper. Tskkk tskkkk masih menyesal.

After all, I really enjoyed the first session. Alhamdulillah. Can't wait for the next. Semoga sihat, berkelapangan dan berkesempatan to join the next session. Amin

VS 1

"Give your hands to serve and your hearts to love" - Mother Teresa

I reached at rumah anak yatim RKK early so thanks to the traffic. There were a few volunteers already there. Seeing all the cute faces came to me nak salam and hugs ahhhhh melting. Lupe terus pasal nervous. The session started a few minutes later, when our Project Manager (PM) arrived. Then, the kids were divided into groups according to age. There were about 20+ of them between 4 to 12, all girls! Semua pon malu2 taknak duduk dengan abang2, nak kakak nak kakak.

The plan for that night was to review their exam papers and check if they have any homework to do. But it was not so formal because most of them had done with final exams and had packed their books. So I began with two kids sat in front of me, KH and PU. KH is 8 years old and PU is 5 years old. PU sangat gigih buat homework, she had to write 1-100 in her mathematics book. PU is veryy outspoken and smart. At her age, I think she has a nice handwriting, buat kerja pon laju je. But, she needed extra attention.  Everytime she wrote one number, she will asked me the next one, eventho she knew the answer.
"Kakakk, lepas ni no berapa?"
"Kakakk tengok la saya tulis ni betul tak?"
"Kakakk, tolong la saya buat ni"

Whereas, KH is a bit passive, so pendiam and sangat sesuatu. Dia asik cakap die bosan. Otak saye pon ligat berpikir what to do. Dah la tak tau syllabus darjah 2 belajar apa. and thank God tiba2 ting!! I got an ideaa. To teach her Colors in English.
"Alaa kakak saya tak tau, saya cuma tau merah, red je"
So I asked her to list down all the colors she saw in that room. Then I taught her how to say it in English. That session lasts a few minutes until the PM distributed Mathematics books for everyone.

KH saw my Uno Stacko and kept checking my bag. First time saya tegur biasa "Eh, jangan kacau barang kerja kite tu", the second time pon biasa2, and the third time, tak berniat pon nak marah but maybe dah terbiasa suara kasar tiba2 she asked me with an innocent voice in a very low tone "Akak, akak marah saya ke?"

Ahhhh I didnt mean to. I mean ok I forgot that they're different. I played with kids a lot, I have a lot of little cousin, but I forgot that I can't treat these kids like how I treat my lil cousins. These kids are different. We never know what they keep inside. We never know what that tiny body had gone through in life.

I felt so guilty. Beyond words.

VS0

"Start where you are, Use what you have, Do what you can" - Arthur Ashe

Since I joined the VS facebook group, I had missed a few session because of my other plan that falls on the same day with the session. I was a bit frustrated. So when they changed the day from Sunday to Tuesday, I was sooo excited coz I know the chances of joining the session on weekdays are much higher than weekend. Biasa la weekend selalu je ade hal, tapi weekdays bukan setiap hari pon balik kerja lambat. and I tried so hard to be available on Tuesday night everyweek, to be with the kids.

My first week, was a bit hard. Even before I decided to go, I had plenty thoughts in mind. Because I don't know anyone from the team and I am a new comer so macam a bit awkward coz they already know each other kan. I don't know what to expect from the kids. I don't know what to prepare and what to bring. Macam dah lama tak rasa nervous like this except for work-related. It's true when some people say getting out from your comfort zone is a satisfaction. It was really fun!

My first session was on Tuesday from 8pm to 10pm. So after reading from the facebook group posts and texting another volunteer who also joined, I prepared myself with A4 paper and a box of pencil. They said we will teach the kids mathematics and review their exam papers since it is towards the end of the  year so most of them have done with final exams. I also brought uno stacko and a board game Pictureka which I have at home just in case we got extra time to play.

I drove off from home after maghrib. I've studied the map a few times and I'm sure it's gonna take me about 10 minutes to get there. Along the way, banyak sangat benda nak pikir, dah la tak penah mengajar, dah lama xbelajar jugak. nervous gila pls and I even thought of youtubing "how to teach kids mathematics", "the right way of teaching" and everything along the line. Nak jumpa volunteers2 lain pon macam nervous jugak. lupa dah macam mana nak bersocial dengan strangers. semua pon nervous first time kot pfffttt.

I will share my very first experience later in VS1. And you know what? It went so well :) I think I did good. Alhamdulillah. hihi

Passion - VS

"We make a living by what we get, But we make a life by what we give" - Winston Churchill

I've always wanted to do something that is off from the routine. Something which has nothing to do with work, money, regular hang-outs, gadgets and shopping. Something which makes me happy and fulfilled in a different way.  Before deciding what to do, I figured out my passion. I know I can never do sewing, cooking, baking, kalau ada pon just for the sake of trying one recipe or one thing. Then the spirit is gone. I wanted to teach, I wanted to be a tuition teacher but I'm very sure my current job doesn't allow me to give such commitment. I might end up teaching different day every week sebab asik balik kerja lambat and cancel class if outstation. I wanted to go hiking every weekend. But my mom doesn't allow me sometimes depending on the location, group of friends, weather condition blablabla and the list goes on. I wanted to do online business seeing the instagram shopping bak cendawan tumbuh lepas hujan. But I know it's gonna be hangat2 tahi ayam because I enjoy shopping more than selling hihi

But Alhamdulillah I finally found an awesome thing to do.  I've been googling "volunteering work in KL", "rumah anak yatim KL", "rumah orang tua2 KL" and so on since forever. Tapi mcm every results lead me nowhere, ade je halangan or masalah which made me close all the tabs everytime. But Allah made it easy for me finally. I found an activity which I can commit with Insyallah at a place near to my house. Volunteering work at Rumah Anak Yatim it is. I am so glad to be part of the team. I am happy to share my experiences coz I know it's gonna be real funn. I love kids I love volunteering and who knows this could be my real passion :P a long lost passion hehe

p/s: VS=Volunteer Session (saja buat nama mysterious macam victoria secret, so who is victoria? :P ) My next next post with VS title will all be related with this topic.