VS 1.1

"We rise by lifting others" - Robert Ingersoll

Her innocent voice slapped me in my face. I shouldn't be angry I should know how to control my voice I should be more patient I should treat them nicely. It's good such things happen at the beginning. It gave me times to reflect.

From that moment, I am being extra careful with my words. The PM asked them to finish at least 5 pages of the Mathematics exercise then they can choose a new novel to read during school holiday. PU had moved to another volunteer because she didn't get full attention from me as I also helped KH with her math. When doing the math exercise, I can see KH is smart but looked like she was hiding something, something to do with her emotion, from me, from the world. I told ya, KH ni sangat sesuatu. But, I haven't figured it out yet. Time buat math tu, die tunduk until her face nearly touch the floor. I tried to get her attention, asked about school, about what she likes, but her voice was so low  and I couldn't hear clearly what she was saying...until I realized, she was crying. Yes, tears rolled down her cheeks.

So I asked her to pause doing the math. I didn't think finishing the math book can make her happy. I knew asking her the reason why she cried was not a good idea in that condition. She must be so sensitive and my question can make things even worse.

Then another tinggg!! idea came out. Yeay! Thanks to zaman2 sekolah yang selalu main dalam kelas. So I draw a few 3x3 grids and we played tic tac toe! Guess what, I managed to change her mood quite instantly. She was so happy playing tic tac toe. And for the first time, I actually counted the marks and planned a strategy to make her win. Kakak yang baik sangat pls. But ehem! I just let her win by 1 point ONLY. kahkahkah nak jugekkk.

Then we continued with math until she finished all 5pages. Bila saya nampak je die macam nak sedih I tried to distract her by asking random questions macam dia suke main sports apa, cikgu kat sekolah garang ke tak, and sambung tic tac toe jugak. I found her more effective to pause a few times rather than pushing her to finish the math rushingly.

Then I checked her school bag to find her exam paper, and guess whatttt?? The only exam paper she had received was Bahasa Arab. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Long pauseeeee... Silent mode. Urghhhh I read it a few times but the one thing I can captured was only the front page. I learnt arabic in primary school and takes 2 classes at Vandy. But why everything seemed so alien to me. Penyesalan. Nampak sangat belajar dulu semata2 utk pass exam je. sobs sobs. Dengan perasaan down tahap 7, terpaksa asked another volunteer to review that paper. Tskkk tskkkk masih menyesal.

After all, I really enjoyed the first session. Alhamdulillah. Can't wait for the next. Semoga sihat, berkelapangan dan berkesempatan to join the next session. Amin